A Talk with my self

I was walking in woods, the music of rain and melody of birds made the concrete world vanish into thin air. I was surprised the way tiny droplets washed all the worries out of my mind. I was too tired to think and cold enough that my hands gone numb. These are the times that bring the silence where you can listen to your weak, tired and hurt soul, the real you. The part of you who always compromised for less with you, for timid happiness of present she compromised the happiness of future, the part of you say you want to listen but you never did, the part you everyone wants you to listen but never did listen, the part of you gone un heard, thrown back and ignored.

I hope you get which part I am talking about yes the one which made your head nod couple of times while reading the last sentence and now made you
think some moments of life. Let’s once again do not listen to that part and read ahead for a moment (We are good in that, aren’t we?).

So that part started talking to me. I will give it a name lets say Inner me. Here it goes

Inner Me (IM): HI
Me: (Turn my head around and realized there was no one around I knew it was inner me) I said Hi. How are you?
IM: That was quick I thought U can't listen to me.
Me: How can I not listen to you, you are inside me?
IM:(smiling) u didn't many times, remember when I asked not to quit last time but you said you were busy, tired, weak and vulnerable enough to keep fighting. But you are not weak or tired. U wanted to take it the easy way.
Me: But you never said that again to me, you never said that I am not weak or tired, it’s just my fears taking over me.
IM: dear I am inner you I can't disobey you If you shut me down once I can't say again. I talked to you every time by different means from your mind, your dreams sometimes your friends and parents. But I always tried to show you the path.
Me: Are you my heart? But they say don’t listen you to your heart its emotional and not practical.
IM: I am your heart some times but not always but when ever I speak I do it for your good, I know you the best , I always known what are you capable of, I always tried to direct you in right direction.
Me: but there are so many voices in me how to identify you?
IM: I can give you some ways but rest you can have to patiently learn over the period of life over the journey of failure and success. I will be the one that will ask you to take the hard way, I will be the one to ask you to never quit, and I will be the one to harsh on you but truthful.
Me: So If I follow you, will you lead me to success?
IM: I can't lead you anywhere but I can show you ways, I can direct you to right path, I can be your lamp not your milestone, I can be your path not your legs. I can assure you happiness and satisfaction but not success. I can be your journey not your destination.
Me:(I was walking still through the woods running out of breath sweating but still walking, stretched my back and answered) that’s tough to understand how can be you one half of the things not the other half.
IM: I can’t leave you I am where you are I have to be with you not ahead of you. If I will see some one who can lead your way I will ask you to talk to them love them respect them. That’s why you get to have friends and family around you. Even there you tried to ignore the one who are hard on you and like the ones who take you the easy way.
ME: (I smiled and nodded I was silent but not silent enough for my inner self she heard my agreement)
IM: I told you earlier I have different ways to talk to you.
Me: Do you want to say something to me?
IM: for now keep walking till you reach the top.
Me: you don’t want to guide me for my job, my life, my carrier.
IM: that's another characteristic of me I will talk only about the thing you are doing, I never distract you. I want you best in whatever you do when ever you do. I don't decide the future I direct your present in right direction of future.
Me: but who is the one keep canning me about my failures in study when I am at work, failure in life when I study and pinches me about my work when I am living my life.
IM: That’s distorted me when you don't listen to me and keeps suppressing me I have to boil down some how.
Me: (Nodded again I wondered how I kept on agreeing to it as you are right now she heard my question and answered)
IM: You are tired enough to suppress me. I will be with you whenever you are tired, depressed, failed and ask you to get up and shine again. I will pull you up on your feats and make you walk. That why you don’t feel the pain if you keep trying. The way you are still walking.
Me: (today I kept on agreeing to her, tired, stretching my back and walking, I wondered how many timed did I feel like this, not many I guess. The inner you get strength the more you agree to it and I nodded like my life time in this talk just like you did couple of times.)What should I do now?

I didn't heard any answer I didn’t realize I was on the top of hill where I wanted to be and the inner me left me to enjoy my destination. Some how there was a new meaning to the scenery I was looking at. Now I know why it’s always so beautiful from the top because you tried to be there you worked so hard to be there.

I don't know about my self whether I will listen to her but I will try. If you are still reading and agreed few things, smiled few times while reading, there is someone ignored deep in you. Listen to her. Promise me that you will try.